Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Why I love giving birth

I'm currently twenty four weeks pregnant and I was recently thinking disparaging thoughts about pregnancy as a whole. I get so bogged down in all the morning sickness and exhaustion and the emotional ups and downs. It's hard for me to handle being sick all the time when I have this incredibly important job to do in taking care of my two children that have already been born. I feel guilty taking away from them and I feel guilty not taking better care of myself, both for myself and for our new baby's sake. I was thinking about this the other day and thinking that if pregnancy were easier I'd probably have a whole bunch of babies. I don't even mind labor and birth. In my experience it hasn't been that bad. Actually, I kind of like giving birth. Does that sound crazy? Sure giving birth is painful, messy, scary, and a whole mess of other unpleasant things, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Reasons why I like birth:

•It's satisfying. I feel like I've just accomplished something amazing through sheer determination. I tend to be a quitter and birth is not something you can really quit. I love that I can say look what I was able to endure and accomplish on my own! Plus in the end you get a deliciously wonderful baby to hold in your arms!

•You get to fall in love. That whole hormone cocktail that my body pumps out when I'm hold a freshly birthed baby still attached to my body is amazing. I don't know whether to cry or laugh and I can't take my eyes off this amazing little person I am so amazingly in love with and absolutely in awe of. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to get the privilege of getting to know this little person let alone be it's mother!

•Birth makes me feel beautiful! I remember being in the bathroom after Jackson was born, I mean directly after having given birth, and looking in the mirror and thinking "Oh my god I have never been prettier in my life!". My skin  looked amazing and my eyes were shining. Sure I was a disgusting bloody messy, but I still felt so good about myself I just entirely didn't care!

•Birth is a workout. It's intense and physical and gives you that same high and makes your body feel exhausted, but good like after a good workout. I swear it doesn't seem like it's possible to feel good and have energy after no sleep and a marathon of physical exertion, but that's exactly how I feel.

•In our case we get to finally find out the gender of our baby! We choose to wait until birth to find out the gender and that moment when I get to look down and know who this baby is and what name they will have is exciting.

I may not be enjoying this pregnancy as much as I may like, but I am sincerely looking forward to giving birth again!






Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Mixed Bag










As much as I love life I still can't shake this constant anxiety I have. I'm pretty sure I have summer onset SAD. I have felt depressed the last two summers and I'm feeling that way again. How the heck can life be so good and I still feel so terrible?


Monday, August 18, 2014

Enchanted Forest

This is a place I spent my childhood! My children will get to spend time there growing up as well. Actually they already are!


This picture is from today,



And this one is from Jackson first ever trip! I can't seem to find the picture from last years trip!









This year,



Jacks' first year.



My baby brother Cody this year,



My tiny baby brother Cody way back in 2009!



What I'm guessing is a sixteen year old me.





This year,





Jacks' first year!



My brothers in what I'm guessing is about 2010.









Watching the show this year,





First year.



My little brother Detick meeting the cast in 2009,



My older brother, myself, three of my cousins, and two strange kids meeting the cast back in 1995! I'm the little blonde girl looking up at the taller boy with the dalmation sweater.


















My BABY brothers this year!!! Ok maybe not so baby anymore.



2010



2005 maybe? I don't think Derick has even had his first hair cut here.



2010 and sadly enough this Humpty Dumpty doesn't exist anymore! It got knocked down this year, but luckily Mr. Toft is still around to make a new one.




Sometimes D can be creepy,



Or suspicious



All I know is that I'm looking forward to many more years at Enchanted Forest!!!